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Codex: Live from My Living Room Vol. II

by Anaïs Believe

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1.
Know Now 04:48
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I want to know I want to know I want to know Now, Pick me Like a flower I will bloom for you I will bloom I will bloom Where will i put my big ideas maybe lay them next to Whether or not I want to be With you my river is consciousness can you swim words are rafts Dry your eyes I want to know Whats on your mind Mind over matter I never thought I'd live without loneliness Lust a drug, but Your brain a sea to swim in hold my tongue hold my breath under water hold my stress and give in If I run just hold on I want to know the catacombs now Before Disappointment comes and rips through us both Shreds our dreams here i'll show you my cards the good the bad the ugly all i know is when i'm near you i want to be the best version learn the three Bs better let tears dry i want to know i'll tell you now first
2.
Codex 05:54
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lift up lift up both my hands lift up lift up where you stand and hold that i'm called back 'believe' she is bringing ruin with her turn your eyes from bell, wand salt, heather spun whispers my ratchet don't disguise a compromise she knows she knows she knows all that i have hidden she knows she knows more than words and with my ratchet i lock away the cord cold comfort they'll never know it they'll never know i am done dying engines dying ends red dining with my enemies for what pretending belief she knows your secret is safe there is no escape your secret is safe
3.
Stupid Crush Song 04:45
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should i shouldn't i i've been pulling petals i don't know i don't know if i can bear the truth in your eyes your eyes... it's much better this way from a distance i can see your face i love to hear your voice exclaim your voice... they say love takes time but time makes a fool of us all and i'm foolish after all i've pulled a petal off a daffodil wishing to call you dear but it's ok with me i love to hear you speak here where i can gather petals in your favor i'll make a wreath you can be the Caesar and i'll never be Brutus... this is why i'm still in the bushes with my love my foolish way of comparing myself to Brutus when I should have picked Cleopatra cause obviously that's the one you say! but i know that i'm no Cleopatra i'm not even kind-of in company i can't even say the sole thing i'm trying to say when ahhhh! You're so clever... but yeah i'm really into you... whatever.
4.
Broke the Rules 04:32
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if i broke the rules would you bend them to make me be the one you could love i have silver pulling me silver leaves left to read it's not so easy to pretend that when love is lust inside i need a gas mask to breathe to breathe the lies into life i know it all how could i let that go when i don my mask i already know i have to make do with all of this watered around belief i drown in gas for you
5.
Flower 05:38
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turn me into weeds "didn't mean to pick your flower but i picked you today and i needed prayer now on your knees it's you you that pushed it in" am i too old do i ask too many goddamned questions now "on your knees, on your knees" i don't give a shit today yes i still recall the words of John 3:16 I just don't care in the mirror i see his face and the preacher saying "girl you had it coming to you" let me tell you what i had coming... i learned... i learned that i could get a restraining order i learned I didn't have to step foot inside the fucking church again i learned there is word for what you did to me i learned you are a type pedophile and you said don't ask for help and you said i deserved all that you did i learned you lied you lied you lied liar you lie you're a coward you're a fucking piece of shit liar and i am free of shame and i don't need to play your games of pain i'm alive and you're a liar i'm alive
6.
Jane 05:41
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one word comes through with an orange sky this falling down wait wake wake wake wake wake wake one word is flung from the sky one word with a heart compass promise to set me free don't despair my baby Jane waking the wolves waking the wolves is it worry hound now wound the worry is dragging down from the houses into the present into the eyes wake wake wake wake oh help is on its way help is on its way baby Jane he will find his way always he will find his way he will find his way to you the way out is in the way out is in hold out your hand, Jane don't mind the lemon sky and there'll be tears down the hall and despite the flood the haunted halls no matter the time the lines of fear he will find you the way out is in hold out your hand the way out is in
7.
With Me 03:37
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if you go there with me i will go despite my fear despite my fear if you feel this with me i will feel it with both hands won't you feel it with me now it will be despite the ones who told us not to feel don't you feel it if you go there with me i will go there with you i will be with you and i am looking on now baby, we're moving on if you go there i will feel it if you feel it tell me now if you go there i will go there i will feel it will you feel it i'm scared so, don't run you said stay with me i want to stay i feel i feel will you feel it with me will you be here with me
8.
I See You 04:51
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coquette conquered shifts truth a noose how can i be here i needed so little when i asked one fire held dust god, ash oh momma why why'd you sell me down the river sell me for pennies say savior, no this love it's bruised daddy why'd you sell me down the river you gave me over for popularity its going great now, isn't it better be careful baby grew too old for you i see right through you i see i see i see
9.
Marches 03:13
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yes the march is on i know it is one foot in front of the other- but i fall there's a lesson to be learned this war in love is about the journey don't come bringing bows bows won't dress this madness up into a ball room dance one word can drive a wedge in drive a stake in hold a hammer, hit choose carefully
10.
Self Less 02:56
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Evidently he put the fear in me and i grew up i owe nothing but to my own resilience i have my own condolences for the death of me the one you believed was an invention of my so called maturity is that mere water you drink such a pretty little thing nothing like me and i would be anything but the one thing he said he wanted me to be that is my self that is my self there is no one else but there was one she was wearing a mask of me is that mere water you drink such a pretty little thing nothing like me evidently he put the fear in me but i grew up do you still scrounge eyes you can't mine i am my own horizon now i rise to any occasion i rise i rise
11.
Sole 04:48
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he tried to steal my soul but it is still attached to my ankle i don't believe i don't believe your prophesies mean nothing to me you can't get me back i know you need needed someone to bleed it's not gonna be me he tried to steal my soul but it is still attached to my ankle i wanted to be pure... pure is a concept i threw into the garbage there on the bottom of my can is purity lies that were taught to me reciprocity girls were goods sold and i threw refuse it's a long way down now i've recycled new he tried to steal my sole but it is still attached to my ankle
12.
Thank You 00:43
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i don't think i can take the time to tell you (I'm ashamed it's taken this long, forgive me, but) i don't think i can find the words to tell you you changed my mind, you changed my mind, you changed my life.

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Codex is the musical version of a diary written by an odd girl. It was performed live in a living room.

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released April 21, 2019

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Anaïs Believe

Anaïs Believe hails from the Canadian wilderness. She has come to enjoy such modern things as electric tea kettles.
She is a self taught pianist and a classically trained opera singer. She counts Kate Bush, Coil, Tori Amos, and Leonard Cohen as influences. ... more

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